By Rumbidzai Faith Moyo
Recently, I attended a women’s retreat with beautiful ladies from Chitungwiza, Harare, and Bindura. This church event provided a valuable space for discussion on various topics, including love at home. Among the conversations, we delved into the pressing issue of gender-based violence (GBV). Gender-based violence (GBV) refers to harmful behaviours directed at individuals based on their gender, including physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.
One participant shared a profound insight: “To break the cycle of GBV, we must focus on our children specifically, by empowering and educating our boys.” As mothers, we have the responsibility to teach our sons to love and protect their sisters and mothers. By sowing these seeds of respect and empathy early on, we can contribute to a significant decrease in GBV. This approach resonated with me deeply, and I believe it can create a lasting impact.
Every year, we observe the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, and each time we do so, it is a crucial moment to reflect on the conversation surrounding this critical issue. While much of the discourse tends to focus on the experiences and challenges faced by women, it is equally important to recognize that men also play a vital role in this fight.
As a mother of boys, I believe in a bottom-up approach. By actively teaching boys to love and protect women, we can help break the intergenerational cycle of violence. When boys grow up in an environment that promotes respect, they are less likely to perpetuate the same patterns of behaviour they may have witnessed in others.
One might wonder how to execute this task, especially if the environment feels toxic and one doesn’t know where to start. Here are some ways to get started:
Mothers can shape their sons’ understanding of healthy relationships by instilling values of respect and empathy from a young age. This foundational education encourages boys to view interactions with women as partnerships based on mutual respect rather than dominance or control.
Teaching boys to protect and support their female family members counters traditional notions of masculinity that equate strength with aggression. By redefining what it means to be strong emphasizing kindness, protection, and support. Boys are less likely to resort to violence as a means of asserting their masculinity.
Encouraging boys to express their feelings and understand the emotions of others fosters emotional intelligence. This ability to empathize can lead to better conflict resolution skills, helping them navigate disagreements without resorting to violence
Bois W.E.B says “Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” By demonstrating healthy relationships at home creates a template for how boys will treat others in their lives. When boys see their mothers and fathers modelling respectful behaviour, they are more likely to emulate these actions.
Teaching sons the importance of accountability for their actions instils a sense of responsibility. Accountability means recognizing that your actions matter. Boys learn that they must be accountable for their behaviour, which includes recognizing and rejecting any inclination towards violence or aggression.
As boys grow into men who value respect and empathy, they are more likely to advocate for their peers and challenge harmful behaviours within their communities. This peer influence can create a ripple effect, encouraging other boys and men to adopt similar values.
By sowing the seeds of respect and empathy in our sons, we are not only shaping their character but also contributing to a societal shift that can significantly decrease gender-based violence. This proactive approach creates a generation of men who are committed to protecting and uplifting those around them, fostering a culture where GBV is not tolerated.
Each time we commemorate the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, let us remember that the change we seek begins at home. Together, we can cultivate a generation that values respect, empathy, and equality, ultimately contributing to a safer and more just society for all. Ultimately, these values can lead to healthier relationships, stronger communities, and a safer world for everyone.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao Tzu
By taking those first steps in our homes, we can begin the journey towards lasting change.
This article was published as part of the advocacy around the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence, 2024
